I wan' my gender back
by cheesyfreezy
Summary: You don't know what you've got until it's... reversed? yes, i'm one of the Summary-Suckish writers


I do not own Bleach; you know if I did then many things would change…

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__- Sawako Seriei high-class bar -_

"But, Ken-san~! It's already tried before~" A greenhead lieutenant whined, shoving the bunny shaped bottle of pink sparkly substance into her captain's face, and popping the third vein in his forehead along with it.

"No" two simple letters, were they so hard to understand? Apparently, for the all too immature greenhead…

Frowning now, Mashiro pulled the bottle of Sake from Kensei's hands, replacing it with the Baffle-Waffle-Jackpot-Syrup-3000.

_'Patience_,' the pervert-tattooed taichou reminded himself, _'is a good virtue. And this is how you practice it_.'

"Sake back, now." He stifled a groan, holding his temper. This girl was a nuisance. Reaching out for the sake behind his lieutenant, Kensei got a slap on his back, resulting him to bump the drinks into shattered pieces on the ground.

"Relax, man! Ya gotta enjoy this, too, y'know! 'Sides, it would be fun watchin' ya drink that shit up! C'mon, ain't like ya' gonna die or somethin'!" the blonde taichou mused to his friend, moving his arm from his friend's back to rest around the braided hired brunette next to him. Risa raised an eyebrow in annoyance, lifting Shinji's hand and twisting it into his lap, which caused the fair-haired captain to mutter under his breath and gulp a good half bottle of Sake at once.

The abused taichou sat back up, shooting daggers at his comrade with his glare. Sighing, he stared at his obnoxious fuku-taichou for a good minute, fondling with the bottle between his fingers, wondering if it would be wise enough to just throw it and get this done and over with the whole "happy potion" deal.

You see, it all began when Kensei had so unwittingly bet against Hiyori in a training session with Risa, which -unfortunately to the 'poor' soul- he lost to Shinji, having to pay for the both squads' night out. And knowing the drinkers in benefit; he trusted half of his monthly Captain wallet to be gone with the wind.

So Mashiro, being Mashiro (the supportive, kindhearted lieutenant with a kick-ass scarf) decided to throw around some bra-cash into buying the magical bottle of goodness that is claimed all over Seireitei to be a grin-painter on the faces of The Unfortunate.

"Ano- err, Taichou-sama, I don't think Mashiro fuku-taichou is very mistaken. I mean, the potion has been proved well resulted from what I heard of." Hisagi Shuuhei commented, gaining a thousand volts' grin from the greenhead, to which he responded with a nervous smile.

Kensei gave him a funny look, still wearing the annoyed eyebrows. Was everything against him today? Avoiding Mashiro's sudden 'cosmic bright aura straight-to-the-eye' attack, he retorted with a snarl, "You too, Shuuhei?"

The young apprentice shrugged embarrassed, gulping down the rest of his glass.

Sigh, _'oh what the heck, a small sip would at least shut them up for good'_ he thought defeated, feeling betrayed by his own thoughts.

Eyeing the crazy bunny shaped stuff in his hand one last time, Kensei couldn't look more annoyed while opening the bottle and smelling it before sipping a few drops- all witnessed by the (too) amused stares of the group, mostly Mashiro who was beaming at him.

"There you go, Kenny-kun~ now was that so hard? How does it taste?" Mashiro clapped happily at her captain, who had this alien blank look on his face- nose strangely crinkled in disgust. After a good minute of not responding, Mashiro decided to test it out herself; he didn't die so she could try safely now, right?

Snapping the bottle from his hand, the fuku-taichou aww-ed a little before sipping half the drink down her throat- feeling a little dizzy already.

"Su.. sug- g…g g-goi!" the super hyper girl yelled suddenly, "Sugoi, sugoi, Kenny-kun~ why don't you like it? It's great! You should drink up more~" she sang out, dripping what's left of the drink into the still-agape mouth of the frozen captain.

At that, Kensei snapped out of his shock-like state, coughing at the sudden river streaming down his throat.

"Muragama-sama!" Hisagi shot out of his seat and started hitting his idol's back, helping him get the coughing to stop.

"Ma- *cough* Ma-shi-ro!" the captain exploded, his back straightening while rubbing his chest.

The girl only grinned the more, eyes in a dizzy drift. After a couple of seconds, Kensei felt his eyelids flatter shut, before a sudden wave of nausea flooded his brain into unconsciousness.

"Taichou!" Hisagi was the first to catch him, soon helped by Shinji to carry the silver haired man out to the 4th quarters, accompanied by Risa supporting the half-conscious greenhead to the same direction.

"Man~ what a drag" Shinji yawned out, paying the table with a 'you're-so-paying-me-back' scowl at the unconscious taichou.

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_- An hour later/ Unohana's squad -_

Kensei's eyes opened slowly, revealing a hue of blue where he supposed the sealing was. _'Where am I?'_ the usual first question after waking up from a coma. Blinking a couple of times to adjust his eyes, he sat up, looking around.

_'Huh… the 4__th__? Why, what happened?'_ a quick flash of green and pink and a high pitched giggle ran before his eyes as they widened in realization. _'The potion!'_

Getting up off the bed, Kensei held his head grimacing at the serge of pain that clouded it, but one he moved his hand back down to the supposed-to-be end of his hair, Kensei's hand kept feeling more hair until it finished at middle of his back. ".Hell!" he ran out to the nearest bathroom, looking for a mirror, which he quickly stared at for some minutes before the horror sank in.

There, in one of the 4th squad male bathrooms, staring at the mirror like it's an alien, stood a silver haired captain with two ample bumps almost poking out of the open shirt, rounded hips and a more-flesh-filled butt, staring at the beautiful lashes and full lips of his reflection.

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_- Another room in the 4th -_

A certain greenhead was having trouble finding her way to the females' bathroom, she felt heavier and the dizziness wasn't completely subsided yet. _'What's going on~? Where's Ken-chan~?'_

Finally recognizing her destination, she entered one of the empty cabins, balancing her suddenly extra weight as she freed herself from the too-tight robes.

The fourth squad was an exceptionally quiet place, the peaceful aura helped the patients heal faster, and the chirping birds sang relaxing melodies that could be carried with the light wind. Old Masako-san was enjoying these facts as he strode down the lovely gardens of the squad. That is until-

"KYYYAAAAAAAAAAAAAA~~~~~~~~~~~~~~!" A loud roar broke through the peace, coming from the females' water cycles, followed with a glass-shattering scream from the males'.

"wh- wha- who- whe- how did- IS THIS WHAT I THINK IT IS?" An out-of-place male voice yelled from behind one of the doors, startling the whole female society in the WC out of their business there. Petrified, Mashiro tied back her robes and ran to the mirrors, the reflection of a strong jaw, wide broad shoulders and fine-muscles arms confirming her fears.

"The potion!" she whispered flabbergasted, and for the first time in her whole afterlife, the fuku-taichou was speechless.

**つづく**

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A/N: …. What do you think?... :D or D:

This is my first Mashiro/Kensei, also my first time writing this type of humor. I'm not too pleased about the outcome but I'd appreciate your feedbacks xd

R&R PLEASE! I want to know if I should bother updating


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